I can feel you judging me through the phone.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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