I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
