she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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