On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
