the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
wow bdsm is so cute
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
