the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
