Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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