Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
What a dumb baby whore.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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