Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
