You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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