She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
