She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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