You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i love accidental penises.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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