well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.