wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!