omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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