i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.