You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't