1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
