End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My ass is underappreciated
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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