she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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