can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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