Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I need to wash the frat house off of me
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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