called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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