shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
