So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
