The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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