There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
