i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
