she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
