yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
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last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
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I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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