There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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