is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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