Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize