I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Randomize
