I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
