How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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