Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
