Is it normal to miss your booty call?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
