My nipple is on Facebook.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
