we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
