How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
