This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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