She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize