she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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