Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
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