he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We're too hungover to prance.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
