I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
