So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
