I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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