I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
