And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
