using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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