I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
