..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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