I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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