I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
