I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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