Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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