Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
