I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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