There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
please come you make the beer taste better
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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