we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
