He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
