i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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