No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
