On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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