Welp...herpes.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
